A Mummys View

Telling it like it is

Hobbling On Through Pregnancy Pains and Temper Tantrums

As many of you will know if you are regular readers to my blog I am a disabled, I was born with hip dysplacia but unfortunately for various reasons my condition didn’t improve with treatment but deteriorarated to leave me in the position I am in today. I have been told that in the next couple of years, depending on the state of my hip and my mobility I ‘could’ need a plastic hip, but for now I am hobbling on and have good days and bad and depend on my trusty crutches when needed and the love and support of my family and friends.

My post – Not always easy being a disabled mum sums up how things can be and how life is a little different now I have a little girl to look after too.

I did struggle during my last pregnancy and was regularly using my crutches from at least the half way point. We all thought I may end up on bed rest by the end, but somehow I made it through, which was fantastic!

This time my hips started hurting earlier and the pain is much different. There are days where I can’t even move out of seat, put one leg in front of the other or even sit on the toilet without yelping like a pained puppy.

recently I had to ‘nip’ into town to do a few errands, inlcuding getting a present for a friend and shoes for my daughter, as well as needing to do a food shop. I knew I wasn’t managing great and the food shop would hurt me, so I asked my lovely mum if she would come with me, which she did.

I only had three shops that I needed to go to before the supermarket, and they were all relatively close by one another so it should have been quite a painless, straight forward task that lay ahead. However a screaming melt down from my daughter as we arrived in the town ensured that the process turned into a total epic!

There was tears and hysteria in the shoe shop, trying to put shoes on a child and see if they fit whilst they are crying, snotting and thrashing is not an easy process! I then discovered that the last pair of shoes I had purchased had been the wrong type, the woman in the store had mis-sold me cruisers instead of walkers. I then had to go to the bank to get a statement to show I had only recently bought them so that the woman could exchange them for a correct pair (which was very kind of them). This then resulted in hysteria again from my daughter, who had thought her ordeal was over!

This in total took us an hour!!!

We then headed to another store, with a slightly calmer daughter, where I grabbed what I needed, before my daughter told me she was hungry! Looking at the clock and feeling a little light headed and shaky myself I realised it was actually lunch time and we probably should eat! We headed to the nearest cafe and another tantrum erupted when we sat down because my daughter had managed to see a ‘snack’ that I had in my bag. The waitress, seeing my pain and frustration quickly arrived with colouring in pens and paper! hurrah! She saved the moment and my daughter became engrossed and happy!

With full tummies and refuelled everyone suddenly seemed a lot happier and calmer, so we dashed (or rather hobbled quickly!) to get the present I needed before heading back to the car.

So the first half of the day was complete, it had taken us twice as long as necessary and meant my daughter was inevitably going to miss her nap but nevertheless it was complete! I started the car to the repeated request of “babybel mummy, we go get babybel mummy” so I quickly headed to the supermarket.

By the time I got to the supermarket I was really feeling the pain in my hips, legs and back. We have previously been getting our shop delivered, however with the purse strings getting tighter and shopping get more expensive I just can’t justify £15 – £20 delivery costs a month! It’s insane. Hubby would normally do the shop but he has been working odd shifts and just hasn’t been around and I was due back to work so I staggered on to get what we needed!

My mum had come to help with the trolly but frankly I was hurting so bad part of me needed to rest on the trolley itself to take the weight off my hips. However I couldn’t manage to steer the blooming thing! Onwards we headed like a comedy duo act of me using the trolley as a zimmer frame and her trying to steer the dead weight I was creating! All the time my daughter shouting for Babybel and her regular magazine. We hit the magazine aisle and she chose the latest CBeebies music magazine, complete with plastic instruments on the cover. Needless to say she immediately wanted to open them. I knew it was a bad idea but exhausted and in pain I opened them and got her ONE out. Within 5 minutes it had been dropped and had skidded across the floor and under the shelves. “uh oh” exclaimed my daughter, looking at me to resolve the situation. Yes “uh oh!” I said. “Mummy can’t get down to get that now sweetheart it’s gone. I told you to be careful with it, sorry you have lost it now.” I explained. “Want another one, mummy get” came the request, pointing at the front of the magazine. I knew exactly what was going to happen so calmly told her that she would be upset if she dropped the other one and that she would have to wait until she got home. Tears and cries erupted from the trolley! Quick to the Babybel aisle we thought! We grabbed a packet, opened them and thrust one into her hand! Soon the sobs stopped and she was munching away happily. Mum and I took a sigh of relief and completed our shop.

An hour or so later we emerged from the supermarket, by this time I could hardly walk but still had to drive us home. I got myself in the car and drove the short journey home with tears in my eyes. What should have taken me 2 1/2 – 3 hours had taken 5 hours and I was drained!

On arriving home my mum firmly instructed me into the house, carried in and emptied the shopping, put the kettle and my little girl’s tea on and made me sit down as every movement was agony, I even felt pulling in my tummy at one side and think this is due to the way that I walk and everything being linked. Because of this it meant I couldn’t bend, twist or carry anything so my mum even stayed back to do bath time for me! 8 and a half hours after first getting to my house that day my poor mum headed home, I felt awful!

However it’s days like this when I realise that I am so so lucky to have my wonderful mum so close by. She has been my rock and my best friend. We have been through so much  with each other and I know that no matter what I can always rely on her and she’ll always be there for me. I am truly blessed to have her and blessed to have the rest of my support network of family and friends too. I know the coming months aren’t going to be easy and will in all likelihood get harder but knowing I have them around me keeps me going.

This post is dedicated to my family and friends for simply being there…

Thank you, I owe you so much xxx

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Things I Wish I’d Known Pre Baby

How come when you become a mum you are suddenly hit by things that no one ever told you ahead of it happening?

I was convinced in the early weeks that motherhood really was a secret society and that there is an unspoken rule not to speak of things that any mother to be probably wouldn’t want to hear for fear of scaring them and that it was only when yo became a mother that you were let into these secrets!

So here is a list of what I wish I’d known pre baby:

A day or two after birth your breasts will feel like enormous weighted down water balloons, and not just that, leaky ones too! – I was in hospital for 5 days as I’d had a c-section, it was agony to stand up and I couldn’t stand up straight because my stitches were so tight and pulling, but on the 2nd or 3rd morning when I stood up with my gigantic leaky breasts I had no chance of standing up straight, I was totally top heavy and drippy!

You won’t know whether to reach for a top pad or bottom pad first! – I was stupidly under the illusion that because I’d had a c-section I wouldn’t bleed much…hmmm….! Who knew I would feel like a milking cow too?! lol! OMG some mornings I just felt awful, I didn’t know which to reach for first and I am fairly sure that in some sleep deprived state I may have got them mixed up on the odd occasion!

You will look four months pregnant for several months afterwards and no you really won’t leave hospital in your pre pregnancy jeans – Unless you are blessed with heavenly genes (or those of Victoria Beckham) then you will undoubtedly have a tum for a considerable time! I was GUTTED! I wondered why there was lots of pregnant women walking round the post labour ward and (while some were in fact still pregnant) after a day or two it dawned on me that the others weren’t and we all just had big post pregnancy bellies! I was devastated to go shopping and find I had to buy clothes two sizes bigger than I had been. At least when pregnant I was displaying a lovingly created and blooming baby bump and I still wore clothes in my size (just maternity versions that made way for and flattered the bump). After I had my little girl I was just displaying a flabby, bloated roll!

Breast feeding can be more demanding than you realise – I breastfed my little girl for just over four months and I had no idea how hard it would be! I am so glad I did it but I did not expect to be feeding every 2 – 2.5hrs for anything between 45mins to an hr plus each time! It felt like no sooner had I finished a feed, I would need to start all over again. A friend and I did sit in a cafe for 4 hours one day because as fast as one of our babies stopped feeding the other would start! We kept having to order more drinks… talk about table hogging! I couldn’t express enough milk either, I tried a manual and an electric pump but just couldn’t get enough milk so expressing and having someone step in to take over wasn’t an option. Also, you get so used to unclipping and clipping your bra you sometimes make the fatal error I did and just don’t clip it back up or leave your top undone. One day I actually walked around the local park with my hubby, smiling politely at people passing, whilst totally unaware I had forgotten to do my bra up and I was leaking through my top leaving a lovely big ring! Oh the shame!

It really can take you 3hrs to leave the house at first! – I’d heard people say this but I never really believed it until I had my daughter. It really is true! Even the most organised of people can end up in the twilight zone. Looking back I have absolutely no idea WHY it actually takes so long at first but just take my word for it, it does!

Oh and I just have to add one final point but it’s more of a gripe than anything…

Even if you dress your child in pink people will regularly say “Oh isn’t he lovely” or “How old is he?” – What??? HE is a SHE! SHE is wearing pink from head to toe! What’s not to get?

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