A Mummys View

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Terrible Twosday – Meltdowns and Poo Gate

Well after the last week I have had I had to share a few of the highlight’s I’ve had with my lovely little delight as part of The Crumby Mummy’s Terrible Twosday.

On Sunday I headed across to my mum and dad’s for father’s day as my hubby was at work all day. Mum and dad were going to a local event and asked if we wanted to join them. They were initially going to take my little girl so I could have a bit of a rest and an hour or so to myself but at the last minute I decided to join them.

On arrival at the event my little angel developed devil horns and went into a huge meltdown just being generally awkward and very very loud. She didn’t want to stand and we had left the buggy in the car, she insisted on being picked up, but only by me and no one else and even when I did that she fought to pull away from me and even when she didn’t I could only hold her for so long because of my hips and back and when I tried to release her she clamped herself tightly to me. I basically couldn’t appease her no matter what I did and it was starting to get really stressful, what made it worse was at one point I looked up and saw my little girl’s nursery nurse and her family looking back across at me. She smiled and waved but I just wanted the ground to swallow me up as my snotty, hysterical, red eyed daughter clung to my leg wailing like a banshee!

On arrival back at my mum and dad’s, with a now very calm and contented daughter we sat down for our tea, with guests from abroad and my aunty and uncle only for my daughter to announce “poo poo”. I took her upstairs and to my amazement we had our first number two in a potty! I was so busy wondering how to extract it from the potty that I left my daughter on her change mat on the floor nappy free… big mistake, I came back to find we had had a number one accident. I let out a “noooo” and this resulted in my daughter bursting into tears, getting hysterical again and me having to strip her off completely and try to calm her! All this as people sat below politely ignoring the shenanigans and carrying on with their meal!

Just before we left for home that night I was once again told “poo poo” only this time it had already happened in the nappy. What I wasn’t banking on was her shoving her hands down there and rolling across and reaching out for my parents spare bed duvet as I turned away to get a wipe out! “argh!” I explained only this time it wasn’t followed by tears and I did manage to catch her in time thank god! Needless to say I was glad to get home, hand over my little angel to hubby for bath time and take a big sigh of relief. What a day it had been!

However… my week of tantrums and delights didn’t end there.

Today, I decided my daughter could have one of her birthday presents early to make the most of it and I set about putting together her mini trampoline. She had a go on our neighbour’s larger trampoline during the jubilee celebrations and I haven’t heard the end of it so I thought it would keep her happy.

However! Once the frame was constructed and I began to put the base in place my daughter soon realised what it was and was desperately trying to climb on to it when it wasn’t yet finished. As I fought off the advancing and very determined toddler, in the blazing heat, time and time again, she got more frustrated and it resulted in the hugest melt down I have seen in a while. Ear-piercing screaming, tears, drooling… the works! Trying to pull bungee cord through loops and tie it tightly with a child hovering in your face is not easy and not that relaxing! Luckily my mum had come across so I thrust my daughter in her direction once we had managed to do the main task and asked “please take her out of my face for five minutes!”

I finally finished the task in hand only to find the base goes on a certain way to sit around the jump handle at the front and guess which idiot hadn’t realised that! Oh well, so the bottom doesn’t quite sit right… it will have to do as I am soooo not taking it all apart now! I blame the hysterics I had to put up with anyway for distracting me!

Amazingly, once my daughter heard the trampoline was finished the tears vanished, she flung herself on to it and jumped and laughed with glee for the rest of the day!

See some stories do have a happy ending!

I am hoping the week improves somewhat! What have your little treasures been up to? Why not hop over to The Crumby Mummy’s Terrible Twosday and share your woes!

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“No!”, Tears, Tantrums and Mischief #TerribleTwosday

Well, I can’t believe that Tuesday’s here again and I have ANOTHER Terrible Twosday post to add!

The last couple of weeks have been challenging. My little girl is really trying to assert herself. Everything is “NO” or even when it’s “yes” it’s then wrong.

For example, she loves Driver Dan, goes on about it all day so when it comes to 6pm and we have her ready for bed and settled you would think she would be in her element when it comes on CBeebies? Oh no… well normally yes, but this last week it’s had the opposite effect. The theme tune starts and her head starts shaking frantically and she starts repeating those immortal words “no, no, no” then the tears start, followed sometimes by hysteria. However strangely after a couple of minutes, often not even that, the tears have stopped and she’s staring at the telly avidly… huh???!!!

This week she’s also been on top form in both the tantrum stakes and the mischief stakes.

Whilst doing my Spring Clean in the kitchen the other day I left my daughter playing as normal in the living room and kept popping my head round the corner to check on her (when she wasn’t popping in the kitchen to help me that is).

On one of my peeks into the living room I was greeted by this…

Yes, that is an entire pack of wipes taken out of the nappy bag and scattered in the doorway, not to mention half her toy box and books scattered across the room. Note to Self: Make sure the nappy bag is FULLY zipped up in future!

Then today, on our trip to buy her some new shoes (her feet haven’t grown since last September) she had the most amazing meltdown. You would actually think we were taking her to have her feet removed, not buy a new pair of sparkly new shoes!

It’s not the first time she’s been to the shoe shop, it’s not the first time she has had her feet measured, but for some reason she took an instant dislike the minute we walked through the shop door this time! The poor sales assistant looked a little scared, he was only young bless him but he put on a brave face as he tried to hold our wailing and flailing daughter’s foot to measure it!

When the sales assistant went off to get some shoes for us to try (why do they only ever have one or two styles in stock???) she appeared fine and calmed down climbing on and off the square stool. However the minute he returned the hysteria started again. As he unveiled the shiny new shoes (with flashing lights in the heel I might add) my daughter burst into tears again, retreating backwards from us as we tried to place them on her feet and shaking her head shouting “no” as we managed to finally get them on!

We stood her up and showed her her sparkly new shoes in the mirror, pointing out the nifty flashing lights, but not even they won the day! She pointed at and grabbed her old, scuffed and worn shoes longingly and sobbed and sobbed.

“Don’t worry” said the female sales assistant across the room, “It’s perfectly normal, they get very attached to their old shoes, it happens frequently”, she said smiling. A lady with her added “She’s not as bad as my grandson was yesterday, I had to leave we didn’t even get the shoes on!”

Well all I can say is I’m glad I’m not alone!

The end result was us paying up quickly and leaving the store with a dribbling, hysterical and very snotty child!

It’s been a long, long week, oh wait, it’s only Tuesday…..

Terrible Twosday is hosted by the lovely Crumby Mummy why not stop by and share your “moments”

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My Baby or Rocky Balboa?

So today I find myself asking me who is in fact sat in front of me? Is it my daughter or have a I bred a mini Rocky Balboa? You see my daughter has started hitting me, no one else, just me and only me. She seems to think it is funny and a game but it has been going on for a couple of weeks now several times a day and despite my best efforts I am not winning with her.

I have to confess it is getting me down a little, as I can’t seem to find a solution to the issue and before I fell pregnant I had all the best intentions “my child won’t do that”, “my child will listen” etc etc. Instead I now feel like I am failing and can’t get my daughter to listen to me let alone respect me!

It doesn’t appear to be at any specific time and there doesn’t seem to be a trigger, it’s just random, out of the blue and for no reason.

This morning she woke at 6.40am, I went into her room, greeted her with a cuddle, got her bottle and brought her into our room as usual so we could have a cuddle. By 7.45am we were already experiencing our first outburst with my daughter clambering all over me and trying to hit me in the face.

I’ve tried a number of ways of dealing with this:

  • I’ve come down to her level, got hold of her hands (to prevent her from hitting me again as she does try) and explaining to her calmly and firmly that it is wrong to hit and it hurts
  • I have said “ouch” and showed visibly that she has hurt me
  • I’ve tried ignoring her and moving her away from, me but she just follows me or clambers back to where I am

All of the above have resorted in her laughing at me and trying to do it again.

I have now resorted to Time out. I know people probably think she is too young for this (she’s 20 1/2 months) and I would be inclined to agree slightly but I am running out of ideas and I feel I need to teach her that it’s wrong and won’t be stood for.

Time out so far has been a bit of a game to her, I follow the book by what Supernanny, Jo Frost, suggests in that I give her a warning and explain if she does it again she will go in time out because it is wrong and hurts, I then follow through and sit her down and explain why she is in time out and that she has to stay there till mummy says she can move. If she moves I repeatedly pick her up and put her back without saying anything. (This can often be every 10 secs for up to 22 – 40 times). She laughs and squeals like it’s a game but after a while does stay put, albeit in a very frustrated manner. I only put her in time out for 30 – 40 seconds as I feel she is too young to last a minute. I then go back to her and explain why she has been in time out and that her behaviour hurt mummy and I ask for a cuddle. Initially she was giving me a cuddle and that was that. However this last week she has refused and tried to barge past me or hit me again, which has resulted in me putting her back in time out. This scenario can go on for up to 3 -4 times before I finally get a half hearted cuddle.

The hitting happens several times a day at present and for the last two nights she has hit me after I have read her a bedtime bottle and as I am putting her to bed and giving her a cuddle. There’s no tantrum about going to bed, she merely hits me and laughs. She has even nutted me with her head a couple of times too, the force with this and the hand aren’t hard but enough to make me flinch!

My husband and I have both googled this and whilst it is not really much comfort it does appear that it is quite common around this age. I have found a couple of good articles and forum discussions that have given me food for thought.

Dr William Sears on Parenting.com states

“Please try not to take your daughter’s behavior personally  — many toddlers go through a stage of hitting or biting the hand that feeds them! Try to remember that you aren’t doing anything wrong  — this is typical behavior of your child’s age group. Hands are communication tools, especially for pre-verbal toddlers.”

He suggests:

  • Trying to track the trigger. Is there anything causing it? Are they hungry or tired when they do it? Are they in a new social setting and learning from their peers etc? He states if you look at these areas you may be able to address it directly.
  • Offering alternative methods of communication – He states “in most cases, children don’t hit out of anger or frustration  — often, it’s just a confused way of getting your attention. The key to quelling this type of hitting is to show her how to communicate with her hands using more gentle gestures.”
  • Teach alternative fun gestures they can do with their hands to distract
  • Give lots of one to one contact time, cuddles etc.

I’ve also found this post on a Netmums forum “My 20 Month Old Keeps Hitting Me” Suggestions from other mums include walking away, negating eye contact, showing how to touch gently, reinforcing positive behaviour, using systems such as reward charts and role playing with dolls to show gentle behaviour.

I will certainly try to give a few of the above a go and just hope that like people seem to be saying across the web “it is just a common phase all kids go through!”

In the meantime if you have experiences of this and have found any “lightbulb fantastic moments of how to deal with it” please do share!

I am linking this post up to “Terrible Twosday” hosted by the lovely The Crumby Mummy as I think it’s fitting and appropriate to share the highs AND the lows of parenting!

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#TerribleTwosday – Party Meltdown

Well this weekend we went to a friend’s daughter’s 2nd birthday party.

When we first arrived my daughter was ok, however as more and more people arrived the devil horns emerged and she made it quite clear that she wasn’t happy! By the time pass the parcel started my little girl was laid in the middle of the circle having a complete meltdown, snotting and dribbling everywhere whilst screaming and crying. We even tried stopping the music on her straight away so she could unwrap the parcel but that didn’t work!

Rather embarrassed at the situation and in a room full of a lot of mums and dads that I didn’t know, I scooped up my little girl and took her into the hallway. However there was no calming her, she sat by the stairs and continued her stand! I had to just step away into the doorway and leave it to her in the end (which did work a little).

I felt so stressed as it’s not often my daughter is like this and for it to be in front of a load of strangers made me feel really anxious, friends I can cope with… honest!

After a dose of Calpol (we think her very back four teeth are coming through, but I’m not sticking my fingers in her mouth to find out!) she finally calmed down and started playing on the tricycle and tractor outside. By the time everyone was leaving she was angelic and happily playing again… shame it hadn’t been like that to start off with! Never mind, guess it always has to be someone’s turn and this time it was mine!

I’m linking up this post to The Crumby Mummy’s Terrible Twosday blog hop #TerribleTwosday. If you have a story to share why not hop on over…

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