Prior to baby arriving I had been so worried about how my daughter would feel about her baby sister and how the dynamics of our family and life in general would change. For the last two and a half years my daughter has been my sole focus and the centre of my world. I suddenly felt a sense of guilt that she would have to share her mummy and daddy and this in turn made me worry about my acceptance of my new baby. However I needn’t have worried…
I’ve had no bonding problems whatsoever with baby, and toddler has been great so far. She loves her baby sister and is very affectionate towards her, asking where she is every morning, saying how beautiful she is and giving her lots of kisses, which is lovely.
I think talking about baby’s arrival and buying bedtime story books about new babies really helped prepare our daughter for her sister’s arrival. We also stressed what a fantastic big sister she was going to be and since baby’s arrival we have involved her with things, such as asking if she wants to help at bathtime etc. I think the fact that people keep buying her presents too is probably helping a lot too!!!
However in the last week I have noticed that my toddler is starting to seek my attention more, despite me desparately trying to ensure they both get equal attention. We have had a few mood swings and sulks and lack of cooperation (probably not much more than an average toddler would display anyway). I’ve even been called “nasty mummy” out of the blue and for no reason. However so far her attitude towards her sister hasn’t changed, she constantly wants to cuddle her on the sofa and give her kisses. Any negativity there is (small as it is) seems directed at me, which I guess I can take, after all she knows I love her, I am constantly telling her this and displaying my affection. It’s just a transitional period during which she’s adapting to the huge change and as a toddler this is her way of displaying her feelings.
I know things are never going to be perfect and I am very sure we will have our moments but at present I’m quite happy with the way my daughter has accepted her baby sister and generally behaved. I can only hope that her attitude directly towards her sister remains positive and that her attitude overall doesn’t change any further.