A Mummys View

Telling it like it is

Realising individuality

Have you experienced the heartbreaking moment when you go to leave the room and for the first time ever your little one lets out a wail like you have never heard before?

Back when my daughter was only 4 months old I experienced this for the first time, the dreaded Separation Anxiety, the point at which your child realises they aren’t in fact part of you and are their own person and that mummy does come and go from time to time! For me it was quite an intense time as it became quite extreme and the hysteria and trauma that came with it went on for a significant period. No advice given seemed to work and one Health Visitor even called it the worst case she had ever seen!

I was recently asked to write a guest post for Babyhuddle and this was the story and experience I chose to share, in the hope that my experience could help other mums out there. If you would like to read more about it and how I dealt with it and eventually overcame it please hop on over to my post on Babyhuddle to read more.

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It’s all just a little bit of history repeating itself….

Today I am 28 weeks pregnant and had my first antenatal check up in a while. I dragged my achey, cold laden body out of bed at the crack of dawn on my child-free day off and headed off to our local hospital for a 9am appointment.

I had all the usual obs by the first midwife, she managed, thank god, to take blood for my 28 week check without massacring me. My usual midwife can’t manage to get any  normally and I end up bruised before she sends me to the lab at the hospital! This time was hassle free thankfully!

I then waited half an hour or so to see my consultant and ended up actually seeing one of his registrars. I normally don’t mind a registrar but this guy didn’t seem to know a lot and left a lot of the checks and decisions to the midwife (which didn’t instill me with much confidence!) However I am glad she was on the ball! The midwife measured my bump and said I was measuring small and suggested that I have growth scans going forward to monitor me. This came as no surprise as my daughter always measured small and I have been convinced my bump is a lot smaller than others at my stage! It’s all just a little bit of history repeating itself!

However it did set a little panic button off inside me! As you may have read in my posts about my first pregnancy my daughter suddenly dropped too low in her measurements at the end of 36 weeks and within 2 days she was being brought 3 weeks early! I now have visions of this happening again and it’s making me revisit all kinds of things in my head as well as things such as should I bring forward the date that I intend to leave work, as well as listing all the things I still need to get / order.

I have been debating whether to use a buggy board or buggy pod or whether to get a double pushchair. I think in all honesty my daughter won’t use the buggy board. I think she will want to sit in the buggy like the new baby, so that could rule that idea out. However I am very aware that my daughter will be 28 months old and if I do invest in a double buggy then I may not end up using it for very long so it is a lot of expenditure. Decisions decisions!

I still have to get a new mattress for my Mamas and Papas Moses Basket and some new bottles / teats for my Tommee Tippee range which I love. I am hoping to breastfeed but think it is likely I will do combination feeding so want to be stocked up. I gave a bottle from two and half months at night last time and went onto bottle fully at four and half months so have most things I need like the sterilizer etc. I also have my eye on the fabulous product that is Snugglebundl. I had a c-section first time round and despite having had nine hip operations I was shocked at how much I struggled in the early few weeks. With a c-section planned this time round I think this product looks great and could be invaluable in helping me lift my baby up and down and take them upstairs on an evening at times when I am home alone and hubby at work (especially with my bad hips and back too)

All in all in myself I am plodding along. I am feeling baby kick lots, it’s as if I have a small Riverdance cast in there! I guess that’s a good sign though! My hips haven’t been as bad this last week. I have had one or two moments where my hips have given away but overall the pain has been a little less than it has been. I’ve been plagued with heartburn for the last 2 -3 weeks (as I was last time) so have resorted to glugging from the Gaviscon bottle and went and stocked up on my free prescription again today! It normally kicks in around 4pm and goes on till the early hours, but as I write this today I am feeling it already and it’s only lunch time! I was pacing the floorboards till the early hours the other night. I just keep dreaming of how it will disappear as soon as baby comes! Two and a half months and counting! (if not earlier!) I’ve got a lovely cold this week too, just in time for going back to work so got the ginger tea, honey and glycerine and lemon to hand! lol! Bump does seem to have grown a bit in the last week or so, even though she’s measuring small.

I am loving some of my new maternity purchases from Mamas and Papas and KLM Maternity. I love how comfortable the maternity / nursing tops are that I have bought from Mamas and Papas (see one of them in my bump pic above), they are going to come in so handy over the winter! I am especially excited to wear my sparkly Mama.licious dress from KLM for my Christmas nights out too!

Are you pregnant at the minute? how are you getting on?

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Mummy Loves – Maternity Smart Casual Collection

Whether it’s a a day out shopping or lunch with the girls there’s something out there for every smart / casual occasion and here are just a few of my favourite finds

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#Praying4Kerry

I’m uniting with Crazy for Twins and New Mum Online to share a moments thought for Multiple Mummy (Kerry)

In July Multiple Mummy suffered a brain haemorrhage and she is still very seriously ill in hospital. Her amazing and very supportive husband is updating her blog and raising their three children.

None of us can begin to imagine how hard it must be for them all but I have been keeping up with her husband’s blog posts and I am amazed by their strength and spirit and I want to join with many other bloggers and tweeps today to share a post in #praying4kerry to show my support for them all.

Get well soon Kerry, we are all thinking of you and your wonderful family and look forward to having you back online

xxx

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Friday Pick{ture Book} – There’s a House Inside My Mummy (Giles Andreae)

I’m taking part in ChildLedChao’s Friday Pick{ture} Book linky again this week and really wanted to share a new book we have bought entitled There’s a House Inside My Mummy (Giles Andreae and Vanessa Cabban, Orchard Books, 2001)

“There’s a house inside my mummy Where my little brother grows, or maybe it’s my little sister No one really knows.”

This is a lovely story of a little boy waiting for his new brother or sister to arrive. He has been told by his mummy and daddy that it’s a lovely place and he once lived there too.

It explains all about how baby needs the house to have lots of room to grow and it follows the little boy’s imagination as to whether the house has a kitchen or windows and how he cuddles and talks to the baby in its house  through the tummy telephone, culminating in how he can’t wait to meet him.

I think this is a lovely book that perfectly captures the concept of a new addition from a child’s point of view and I hope it will help in explaining more about our new baby to my little girl.

If you have a favourite book why not link up with Friday Pick{ture} Book across at ChildLedChaos?

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Guest Post: Rear Facing Car Seats #NationalRoadSafetyWeek

This week is National Road Safety Week (19th – 25th November 2012). You will have seen my recent post Sitting Comfortably and Safely, in which I discussed the reasons for choosing my Britax child car seats. In this post I mentioned that there is also a strong argument for rear facing car seats, but that this was probably best reserved for a whole post in itself as there is so much information to look at.

Well, one of my avid blog readers and friends, Mrs P carried out a huge amount of research into rear facing child car seats and actually purchased one for her daughter so I asked if she would be interested in  writing a guest post for me on the subject (she is also thinking about setting up her own blog so I thought it would give her a great opportunity to have a go at her own post… so without further ado… I hand over to the lovely Mrs P… Please do take the time to drop Mrs P a comment below and let her know your thoughts (and to encourage her to join the lovely world of parent bloggers!)

As this week is National Road Safety Week, my good friend here at A Mummy’s View Blog has asked me to write a blog on why I chose to purchase a group 1 Rear Facing car seat for my daughter when she out grew the group 0 car seat.

Like all parents, When the time came to purchase the next stage car seat for my daughter In 2011 I wanted to get a seat that provided my child  with the best possible protection against injury. So my research began. At first I was only considering the “standard” forward facing seats from all the big manufactures such as Britax, Maxi Cosi and Cosatto. I read plenty of reviews and even subscribed to Which? It was during my search and while asking friends opinions on Facebook that I was told about rear facing seats for 9 months to 4 years old.

I was sent a link for a campaign called Joel’s Journey in America for rear facing seats to become a safety requirement for children aged 4 years and under. This was being publicised by friends and family of a little boy called Joel, who at 18 months old suffered serious neck and other injuries in a head on collision. He was in a forward facing seat, secured in the back seats.

Like many other parents I was shocked to read that the seat which we all assume will protect our children from injury was in this case a contributing factor to his injuries. The family were at the time campaigning for rear facing car seats to become a requirement and they have since been successful in changing American laws to now have children in rear facing seats until the age of 2 year old.

I did a lot of research after reading Joel’s story, this included scouring the internet, viewing crash test videos, and reading coroner reports of road traffic accidents, where either forward facing, rear facing or no seat at all were used. It was all very grim reading /viewing.

During my research (for which web links can be found in the below reference section) I found the following facts:

  • The most fatal type of car accident is a head on collision
  • During these types of collision, in a forward facing seat the child is significantly more likely to suffer head, neck or spinal injuries
  • An infant/toddlers head is approximately 25% of the child’s overall body weight and the movement of the head during collision is what can cause neck and spinal injuries
  • Your child is 5 times safer in a rear facing seat
  • Most children in Nordic countries are rear facing until 4yrs
  • The British Medical Journal recommends all children under 4yrs stay rear facing
  • The European Parliament has called for all children stay rear facing until 3yrs old

There are arguments against rear facing seats however:

  • The seats are more expensive than forward facing seats
  • They can be difficult to install correctly
  • They are difficult to source in the UK
  • My child gets bored when rear facing

But after all my research I could not bring myself to buy anything but a rear facing seat. We opted for a BeSafe Izi, which is on the Euro NCAP Top Picks List and recommended until the child is 4 years old.

We travelled to the only supplier and accredited installer in the our area at the time to purchase the seat and have proper instruction on its fitting. And as a result I feel I have made the best decision where my child’s safety is concerned.

Purchasing the next stage car seats is one of the big decisions you’ll make in relation to your child’s safety be it forward or rear facing the important thing is that you do your homework and are happy with your choice and are confident in the correct fitting of the seat to your car.

References: 

http://www.rearfacing.co.uk/index.php

http://www.joelsjourney.org/RFinformation.html

http://www.bmj.com/content/338/bmj.b1994

http://rearfacing.motors.co.uk/

http://www.which.co.uk/baby-and-child/baby-transport/guides/how-to-fit-a-child-car-seat/rear-facing-child-car-seats/

http://www.besafechildcarseat.co.uk/Products/Toddlers-car-seat-0-18-kg/iZi-Combi-X3

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There may just be hope!

So, I have a very adorable, yet very messy little girl! No matter what I try to do she manages to be a little scruffbag most days bless her!

When it comes to meal times regardless of whether she wears a full coverall apron, a bib or nothing at all she manages to cover herself in her food! She’s the only child that can miss the bib and get food all over her trousers or collar or dip her cuffs in whatever the dish of the day is.

When it comes to arts and crafts she pretty much manages to be equally as messy, so much so I have old clothes that I put her in, along with a coverall apron, just to try not to ruin any of her day clothes!

So when the lovely people at Dr Beckmann contacted me to let me know of a campaign they were running I thought they couldn’t have picked anyone better! lol!

They very kindly sent me one of their Stain Devils Kids Stains Kit, some of their Non-Bio Stain Remover and a pack of their Colour and Dirt Collector Sheets to try.

I regularly use colour collector sheets as I have found that some of the clothes I have bought in the past for my daughter (especially jeans) have run and dyed a lot of the other items in the wash so in my eyes these are a must have and I could see from the first time I used them that they did what they said on the tin! Although I always put colour collector sheets in my wash and try to now separate the darker trousers I am also going to have to buy some of their Colour Safe Colour Run Remover that I have seen on their website in case I should have any accidents in future.

With mealtimes a messy affair, I am forever trying to remove tomato pasta stains from my daughter’s tops! So I didn’t need much time before I had to use the Kids Stain Kit after a tomato pasta sauce explosion took place! I was looking forward to seeing what would happen with this, as so many of her tops have been stained beyond help over the months and again, it didn’t fail to impress.

All you have to do is:

  • Place clean white cloth beneath the stain and thoroughly moisten stain with the solution.
  • Leave solution to work for 3 minutes (10 minutes for large or stubborn stains)
  • Dab treated area continuously with a clean damp cloth until all traces of the stain and solution have been removed.

The stain soon disappeared! I found it also worked just as well by treating the stain with a small dab before placing the item in the wash too.

The Stain Devils Kid’s Kit states that it removes over 40 of the toughest stains, including everything from mud and crayon to pasta sauce, and Dr Beckmann say this is guaranteed or your money back!

I wasn’t sure if I would get to use the mud and grass stain devil. However right on cue on Bonfire Night my little girl decided to oblige in some product testing and for some unbeknownst and obscure reason, in a hyper active state, she repeatedly threw herself on the floor, rolling around and giggling in the mud! Now those of you who read my blog regularly will know I am suffering with my hips during this pregnancy and not managing very well. This meant it was not easy to get my dead-weight daughter up from the ground, and every time I did manage she would just throw herself right back down! It therefore went on for some time (not embarrassing in the slightest when all the other parents are starting to look at you! lol!) By the time I got her home she was filthy! Her lovely pink jacket had grass and mud stains all over it, and as I was waiting for her second winter jacket to be delivered, I only had the one option to keep her warm!

As soon as we got home, I stripped her off, cleaned her up, grabbed her evening bottle and then dashed in the kitchen to get the mud, grass and make up remover bottle out of the kit! I have to confess in my panic I think I threw the whole bottle on her jacket, hat, scarf and gloves (the hat, scarf and gloves were brand new and just on for the first time, half of which were white!). I then threw the items in the wash for good measure and hoped that I was greeted by sparkly, clean clothes at the other end…. and that I was! Not a sign of mud or grass stain anywhere! All looked good as new, and after a night in the airing cupboard to dry them off my daughter was able to wear her lovely, warm and clean clothes the very next morning!

I’ve also tried the Non-Bio Stain Remover on some of our bedding. God knows what had been spilt all over it but it looked like we had dragged it through a rugby scrum in some kind of vivid dream! Maybe it was my daughter again with mummy’s make up on a morning, I have got into the bad habit of letting her explore my make up bag to keep her quiet while I get dressed, something I know I will regret! The product once again seemed to do the trick and our bedding was rescued by simply placing one of the sachets in the washing drum.

Having, through habit, used another brand for a long time, I will now be happy to go out and buy from the Dr Beckmann range, knowing that it will do the job for me! If my second child is anything like the first though I may be buying in bulk!

Dr Beckmann are running a Facebook competition from November 16th until December 14th to win a fantastic Christmas product hamper and the new Amazon Kindle Fire. Why not pop across and see if you can be a winner now?

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Minnie Mouse Haven

I recently entered a competition via Tots100 and Rated People to win a room makeover for my little girl. As we have decided to move her into her own big girls room ahead of our new arrival making an appearance so that she had time to settle in and didn’t feel like she was just being moved for the new baby.

I unfortunately didn’t win the competition but had so much fun compiling my concepts for the room and researching where I could get products that we decided to make good use of all the work and get busy on the makeover!

I had asked my daughter what type of bedroom she would like and have her a few choices, including Minnie Mouse and Disney Princesses.

It was Minnie Mouse however that was a streets ahead winner so that’s what my research had been based around.

I found some great products via a fab company called Childrens Rooms, as well as a few bits on Ebay so didn’t hesitate in going straight to these locations to make my purchases. I have to say the people at Children’s Rooms were so helpful I would highly recommend them to anyone! The service was first class and the products arrived within a day or two of ordering them. They were also so sweet and after seeing my competition entry very very kindly sent my daughter a night light, rug and pop up storage tidy for her new room, which she was absolutely over the moon with!

The room had been our spare guest room and was painted cream, with a shabby chic style decor, which included vintage photo frames and pictures, a pendant chandelier and vintage hat boxes. Admittedly over the last year or two it had also become our dumping ground! Anything without a home had landed in there so it took some digging out! However in just two and a half days we managed to transform it into this…..

A Minnie Mouse Haven for a little princess.

Hubby and I have to say we are rather proud of ourselves and most importantly… our daughter LOVES it and even helped mummy move all of her clothes etc in!

She is taking a little settling at night as it is a different environment but I am sure it won’t take long. The fact she jumps excitedly into bed and wants to play in her new room and read books in her book corner is certainly a good sign to me!

One less worry to have come February hopefully!

x

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30 Things To Know in Your Second Pregnancy

I LOVED my first pregnancy! Yes I had hip pain, yes I had heartburn and insomnia towards the end but I loved every minute still and really felt a glow! So this time round I figured it would be the same again and I really looked forward to it…

However in reality things couldn’t have been any different!

I recently watched the hit movie “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and laughed my socks off at the Elizabeth Banks character, Wendy, especially her speech at a mother and baby / pregnancy convention, in which, looking very disheveled and in her assistants oversize clothes that she has had to nab last minute due to peeing herself back stage, she confesses to the audience and her husband in front of her: “I’m calling it. Pregnancy sucks! Making a human being is really hard. I have no control over my body or my emotions. Carebear, I’m sorry, all I want to do is punch you in the face!”

Unfortunately, this time round that has pretty much been my experience! Although I haven’t wet myself yet!

We have to be realistic… pregnancy affects us all in different ways and no one pregnancy really is the same.

So, with this in mind I thought I would share my 30 tips for things you should know second time round. These are taken from my own experience and comments made by the 20+ other second time mummy friends of mine who have this year gone through, or are going through their second pregnancy!

Enjoy!

1.) Yes your second pregnancy can be totally different!

2.) The tiredness can be so much worse, especially if you have another young child to run around after – Multiply it by 10… or maybe more! It’s not fun as you chase a small child around and around the house as they shout “I didn’t want to put my coat on!”

3.) You don’t get as much chance to rest or nab 40 winks, in fact even at bedtime you probably won’t sleep!

4.) This can make you more irritable and less tolerant and therefore your emotions can fluctuate rapidly! (cue the sheepish rather scared looking husband or partner making a hasty retreat!)

5.) If you didn’t have morning sickness first time you can still get it this time… oh boy can you! Again, no fun lying down to avoid being sick while a toddler bounces on the bed next to you at 7.30 in the morning!

6.) If you did have morning sickness first time you could be in for a respite second time round… You lucky thing if so!

7.) Your stomach and pelvis muscles may not be as strong as the first time round. This can have an effect on two different areas….

8.) Your pelvic floor could be a lot weaker! depending on how much you practice those exercises! More chance of oooops accidents as in Elizabeth’s case!

9.) Your pelvis and hips could be a lot weaker, which could mean an increased chance of symphysis pubis dysfunction (PSD) or general hip / pelvic pain so do any strengthening exercises that you can!

10.) This makes carrying or chasing another young child around a lot harder and tiring… especially when they are having a temper tantrum in the supermarket and you are frog marching them under your arm out of the store with onlookers observing!

11.) Your stomach “pops” a lot quicker second time round so you do show more

12.) This can make it harder to hide until your 12 week scan so more thought required!… there’s only so long you can blame the cake!

13.) You are so busy with your other child that you don’t get to think about the growing child inside you as much

14.) You are likely however to feel those first few kicks a lot earlier than last time, that is still, for me, a lovely feeling!

15.) The magical feeling you had first time round doesn’t necessarily happen this time. It can kind of feel like… yeah… been there before… what’s new? The excitement will probably come closer to your due date (or so I am hoping!)

16.) You won’t necessarily be flicking through the pages of mother and baby or all the pregnancy books for tips. It’s ingrained on your mind FOREVER!!!!

17.) You won’t be trawling the shops for all the baby essentials as your house is likely to already be overflowing (even with those novel ideas that seemed such good ideas at the time but were never used!) However admittedly I have come across a few fab new products that I may have to invest in (just call it the shopaholic in me!)

18.) You won’t be gazing at your tummy in wonder and getting excited at every movement, but you may (MAY) get the occasional moment to recognise and take it all in! These are still special moments.

19.) You may be so busy you don’t get your scan picture out at every given opportunity… probably to the relief of everyone around you!

20.) People may not seem as excited at your impending arrival second time round, it was all so new and exciting first time but with another child taking centre stage (and possibly other siblings / relatives) others, like yourself, just don’t have as much time to stop and think! (They too are probably chasing your toddler who is still shouting “I didn’t want to put my coat on!”)

21.) You may feel more anxious second time round as you know more about any negatives that can happen and exactly what to expect! Are they going to utter that frightful word episiotomy or will you have that uncomfortable bowl movement moment again mid labour?!

22.) OR you may feel a lot more at ease second time round knowing what to expect and feel that it will be a breeze! (Like Brooklyn Decker’s character in the movie, Skyler, who sailed through her pregnancy and labour)

23.) If you had the pregnancy glow first time round don’t bank on it being there this time!

24.) If you didn’t have the pregnancy glow first time you may be in the lucky minority and fell on top of the world and glowing with health this time! If so just don’t stop by to tell me about it! Thank You!

25.) You don’t get to see your midwife as frequently therefore you may want to be more aware of your body and bump to pick up on anything that may not feel right. Even my midwives have said they should see people more frequently but I guess that’s NHS cuts!

26.) You could very well be apprehensive as to how your existing child will feel and react (this may of course be amplified if the tantrums are still in full swing!)

27.) You will need to decide how to tell them of their new baby brother and sister (do you choose a story book, show them the scan picture or sit down and have a table summit with them?!)

28.) You will wonder if they really understand or are taking any of it in (if they look at you nod and ask for cake… the likelihood is… they don’t quite understand!)

29.) Your existing child may start reacting to the impending change they feel is coming and their behaviour may change…. not always for the better! (or it could be that your hormones and tiredness make it all seem a lot worse and it is in fact your own behaviour that is changing and the rather bewildered child looking at frazzled mummy really is innocent!)

30.) This takes you back to the beginning of this rather delightful list… extreme exhaustion and lack of tolerance… hence the reason that it’s highly likely your glow is less likely to make an appearance second time round!

Pregnancy second time round? It can be one big circle of fun!

BUT… would we change any of it?…… NO! Because at the end of the day, when we hold our new bundle of life in our arms, all the chaos and craziness that came before it just pales into insignificance…

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Mummy Loves – The Maternity Work Collection

I love a good mix of classic black trousers and tops, combined with some smart day dresses so picked out a few of my recent online maternity work finds to share

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