How come when you become a mum you are suddenly hit by things that no one ever told you ahead of it happening?
I was convinced in the early weeks that motherhood really was a secret society and that there is an unspoken rule not to speak of things that any mother to be probably wouldn’t want to hear for fear of scaring them and that it was only when yo became a mother that you were let into these secrets!
So here is a list of what I wish I’d known pre baby:
A day or two after birth your breasts will feel like enormous weighted down water balloons, and not just that, leaky ones too! – I was in hospital for 5 days as I’d had a c-section, it was agony to stand up and I couldn’t stand up straight because my stitches were so tight and pulling, but on the 2nd or 3rd morning when I stood up with my gigantic leaky breasts I had no chance of standing up straight, I was totally top heavy and drippy!
You won’t know whether to reach for a top pad or bottom pad first! – I was stupidly under the illusion that because I’d had a c-section I wouldn’t bleed much…hmmm….! Who knew I would feel like a milking cow too?! lol! OMG some mornings I just felt awful, I didn’t know which to reach for first and I am fairly sure that in some sleep deprived state I may have got them mixed up on the odd occasion!
You will look four months pregnant for several months afterwards and no you really won’t leave hospital in your pre pregnancy jeans – Unless you are blessed with heavenly genes (or those of Victoria Beckham) then you will undoubtedly have a tum for a considerable time! I was GUTTED! I wondered why there was lots of pregnant women walking round the post labour ward and (while some were in fact still pregnant) after a day or two it dawned on me that the others weren’t and we all just had big post pregnancy bellies! I was devastated to go shopping and find I had to buy clothes two sizes bigger than I had been. At least when pregnant I was displaying a lovingly created and blooming baby bump and I still wore clothes in my size (just maternity versions that made way for and flattered the bump). After I had my little girl I was just displaying a flabby, bloated roll!
Breast feeding can be more demanding than you realise – I breastfed my little girl for just over four months and I had no idea how hard it would be! I am so glad I did it but I did not expect to be feeding every 2 – 2.5hrs for anything between 45mins to an hr plus each time! It felt like no sooner had I finished a feed, I would need to start all over again. A friend and I did sit in a cafe for 4 hours one day because as fast as one of our babies stopped feeding the other would start! We kept having to order more drinks… talk about table hogging! I couldn’t express enough milk either, I tried a manual and an electric pump but just couldn’t get enough milk so expressing and having someone step in to take over wasn’t an option. Also, you get so used to unclipping and clipping your bra you sometimes make the fatal error I did and just don’t clip it back up or leave your top undone. One day I actually walked around the local park with my hubby, smiling politely at people passing, whilst totally unaware I had forgotten to do my bra up and I was leaking through my top leaving a lovely big ring! Oh the shame!
It really can take you 3hrs to leave the house at first! – I’d heard people say this but I never really believed it until I had my daughter. It really is true! Even the most organised of people can end up in the twilight zone. Looking back I have absolutely no idea WHY it actually takes so long at first but just take my word for it, it does!
Oh and I just have to add one final point but it’s more of a gripe than anything…
Even if you dress your child in pink people will regularly say “Oh isn’t he lovely” or “How old is he?” – What??? HE is a SHE! SHE is wearing pink from head to toe! What’s not to get?